My Writen Painted felt Authobiography ;)

poems

Broken Mold

IMG_4156.JPGFrom every side pushed,
From every edge pressed
From every angle tested;
Guilt being used to shake things up
Fear to bring me back to the preconceived mold;
Flexible as an elastic band stretching,
Being brought to the ground abruptly,
Tension in the air
Peace in her soul
Segmented, judged, classified, routed with nonstop spoken words and infinite silences.
The little hole in the sky keeps her alive
The little light in her heart keeps her breathing
A fight for freedom of choice and courage to remain flying….
The road is bumpy. Fog and uncertainty ruling the way , but this walk cant be interrupted as The only way to live is to walk her walk


Beach meditation

aroused by her emotions seduced by this soft breeze
her heart started to melt, as a fountain of chocolate youth
wanting to try the fruit of risk and of truth as souls remove all its layers and dance levitating towards source
dancing slowly, this music made her move
anticipating the sound of the beat under this summer heat
The sun was trading its space with the moon and only a swim was in sight under this sunset’s light
Come
I feel you
I know you are around
I have enough breadcrumbs to share as I cant stop my stare from this waves…..
I feed you as you fly
just sing to me as you dive; some fish will arrive whenever you strive.
In silence she was, in this paradise lost
The desire to find him was unfulfilled…
But having the desire simply meant that he existed…Their highways would finally cross, not overlapping simply realizing that the time has arrived
Home can only be felt as Home

The concrete on the sidewalk was still curing
She walked distracted but just on time she was guided to turn.
Obstacles,so many lessons undisclosed
Like a rolling ball crushing against the ground no matter how high it flies….

so she decides to go…..

Back to meditation in this summery scene of unwritten life pages and rain on the skin
adorned by Freckles


Opposites

being different
crushing against this invisible wall between us, pretending that any hole we make will connect us as one….
an illusion it is, as our ways have shifted and our perception has morphed ….
fading slowly the idealized laze flowing smoothly down the waterfall of broken dreams and platonic heroes….
How can we find a way to blend our clashing nature invigorating our essences to emerge?
How can we bridge dissimilar blossoming paths and co-create a versatile anew life roadway ?
What would it be if we learn to be a different me, us, we unexpected and unseen?
Society still influences the rights and the wrongs of this wonder- full life designed to be preened with passions and dreams authentic as sheen, uneasy but ignited with every moon in the sky, bringing renewal as a daily choice.
We craft our days in heat and devotion or we darken our days in confusion and pain.
The only thing she claims is the freedom to be a full version of hers in this life she chooses to ride under thunder and sunshine looking only for truth under nobody else’s roofs.
she wont hurt your life
as she is only love-made hidden behind the costume of zeal and susceptibility.
what’s next?
coalition or demolition?


mosaic

The mystery we are, I find so difficult to define; when we say who we are, we end up being who we are not; never becomes some-times and sometimes may become an all-ways.

This walk is not eternal
things change, life moves, the same waves that come, are the ones that are instantly seduced back into the water….

……nothing stays the same.

Wrinkles of wisdom stamp our faces of unforgettable memories and non-erasable stories,

I find a great resemblance between life and mosaics:

They are aligned on a tidy floor
sometimes cracked,sometimes dirty, sometimes beautiful and perfect.
We make ourselves play by skipping one or more, jumping and testing ourselves to see how far we can go, or skipping one color to stand on the next,
as if we were winning a game of …. power?

Other times, our feet not even fitting inside and playing’s not even an option….
small pieces are needed to create the big picture, a small piece of cracked glass wont make any sense without the other pieces….

……the adrenaline keeps us moving …..

failure is simply a word
part of a world that is not sold,
we are just doing what we are told.

When I glue my words creating this mosaic, I continue to journal a list of dreamt illusions that come and go as this summer breeze,

Where am I going with this words that keep flowing and continuously rolling down my mind’s slide ?

Conclusions are far to reach, no matter how much I pray.
The shore is not seen close by, where life’s answers may reside.
So avoiding to collide i surrender my internal debate to whatever my path will deliver.
Sometimes flowing sometimes stacked sometimes cheery sometimes disconsolate.

I wonder if it would be easier to navigate with a map journeying through the known instead of cruising the rapid waters of this life’s maze piloting harbor-less….

but would it entertain this unforeseeable soul?…..


The Void ; his story

So depressed not being able to understand this void…

Something’s missing and hasn’t been there for so long….

‘I’m not understanding the way to decode the language of emptiness that fills up my inside and bit by bit he’s been developing the ability to dye the light into a deep darkness state of confusion and unsolicited surrender-ness’ he reflected

‘who are you?’

‘what do you want from
me?’

‘what are you trying to tell me?’

if only these messages were more authentic, logic and less demagogic ….as ….there’s no reason to reject the wonders of aliveness

Perfect is the image perceived by the spectators , fake is the one released by the naked truth, He thought

‘who do you want to see?’
‘the real me or the ‘what I could be’ me?’ he whispered

This path is the return one, there’s not one to come and one to go.

Longer shorter days giving me the chance to nourish the heart

Mundane experiences sealed as rubber stamps on my skin, intending to be part of the past, with unattained outcomes….

How to enjoy the deepness of this physicality when this indescribable ghosts don’t want to let go….

Is it my Ego mind boycotting my triumphs?…
or simply this incapacity to understand the void language
Trying to fully convince myself that the Universe is speaking to me through gnomic messages?

Maybe this is a new way of communicating I need to master to feed this thirsty whole of emptiness .
…..to be continued

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Seeker

When finding himself, he was losing himself
The more he saw the more he got drowned.

Reality didn’t bring the well seeked clarity that day.

Confusion didn’t bring the typical daily delusion but neither clarity nor ease that day.

Walking and walking he was trying to find a solution.

Slowly and slowly he thought, as if waiting for answers to come unexpectedly from the sun was certainly happening.

His emptiness felt so dark
no matter how bright his sparks were, as unseen by his third eye they lived in mystery.

He wanted to Dive as if the water would clean his shade

He wanted to fly, as if the air up there would erase his pain.

He wanted to run, as if speed would burn the void inside.

……but all he did was stay, in a stillness mode , where the non thinking mind was the one to answer this time.

11


Still unnamed

Does it exist?
Does True Love exist?
So many poems and lyrics
so many phrases and quotes
so many thunders and sunshines above of it all.
Below the surface there’s reality there’s pain and there’s doubt, in a world of ever-growing bouts….

Where is this going, this pain is overflowing….
This empty space goes deep to touch base, trying to win some random race nonexistent to the eyes but clear as a vase.
Could it be platonic?
Could it be the mystical in love with love… that as a cloud it can hide whats real and loud under the eyes of the cowed that screams so aloud to be heard….?
Visiting and staying… or changing its route as simple as the seasons that without any reasons they move to horizons untouched as raw diamonds.

A knot in the throat from unspoken thoughts, painful as shots is the distortion of Love

where is the feeling?
which is its location?
where do you carry it when you pretend you dont have it….

She looks for connection instead of words and deceptions
She looks for a soulmate as if they truly exist in a world of beliefs, of seasons and cliffs, of reasons and fees.
She wants to believe
She wants to retrieve
She wants to forgive herself for this feeling as deep as the core of oceans and shores so strong and life changing as winds of renewal that shower the pain with truth and with rain.

3


unnamed

The message is clear
refusing to hear
this inner voice fear
provoking these tears
Neglecting her space
of laughter and grace
shadowing her face from liberty.
What is it out there, so tempting to wear?
What is it in here… that she expects to tear?
The Sun is still shining, no matter whats coming
The sky is still vast as it ever lasts
You, Me, Him, Her pretending to hide reality from society
The lights wont chase us as darkness lands.
Setting wings free into the sky full of shining pearls and wonder moons fooling the ones with a type of blindness called ignorance that blocks the unquestionable , from flowing.

What about stepping on layers of experienced mistakes becoming taller to spy across the tall fence of life truth ‘s?
Is that possible?

She walks alone
Experienced mastered her in learning her power.
Illusions frustrated expectations.
And choices blocked possibilities.
She walks detached from judgement and whining , from comments and rhyming.
She walks unlatched from handles and leashes facing her wishes confidently unscratched.

The power of being in a world of believing that magic exists in this list I cant resist
Called Living
Called Life
Called Being

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in my mind….

in my mind heartbreak was just an indecipherable state
in my mind the sun shielded us from obscurity
in my mind fear was a 4 letter word, unchosen
in my mind, loving was forever & never ending as breathing.
compassion and love our sixth sense.
shadows; only a reflection of trees, of shapes, not a dark soul feeling of fading into the night….
In my mind the beach was our home not allowing money as a medium to subsist on Earth…..where the ocean felt like blankets do and the sand as nests; as the only inhabitants who need money to be alive on Earth, she gifted us with nature and free loving.
In my mind, you & you & you & I… came here to be one, to help each other, through compassion & kindness, excluding¬† selfishness & simply offering tender love and trust to every soul, even the ones that choose to hide sensitivity and pain due to a misconception of what to be vulnerable and fragile really means
In my mind challenges were confirmation tests of our own true nature; no need for outdoor’s approval
In my mind, a shoot in the hoop still an activity allowing our essence to remain the same & victory not being a game but a feeling in the soulin my mind midnights were my secret spot that helped me unlock my truest Me, reminding me of the pleasure of existence, the abundance that simplicity possesses , of the ones to let go and the ones to keep; building the present as a solid foundation of an incoming future, where dreams come true; and peace, breathing and being; only synonyms of who we truly are.
in my mind eyes were only the windows to a beautiful inside out soul, simply hiding from deception; in love with love but quite scared of opening the heart to allow it’s humble natural flow.
in my mind every kiss would perpetuate all over my pores the indescribable intensity of the passion felt, immortalized as tattoos decorating my skin
Sensuality the motive & manifested art of seduction.
I guess we do know;
in our mind, essence, spirit…
… answers arise at the right day/time, if we are not hiding from them.
In my mind love was more than love;
it meant life
it meant joy
it meant companionship
it meant honesty
it meant freedom of being and choice
it meant hugs and touch
it meant friendship
it meant openness
it meant listening
it meant giving
it meant Unity & Oneness
L.O.V.E. Live life in a Oneness state of Vibrating Existence
in my mind……
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un~expected

the sun is hiding, the moon up there staring.

you walk slowly

the ocean captivates you

fascinated by its music, you meditate

nights are your own path, in search of your own wrath

when noises are absent & shades dont follow.

authentic, sincere, and a truth chaser in a world of costumes & masks

where nobody asks what is it that you busk

cold weather levitates you & your sensuality vitiates

if only you could see, how special you can be, when stars are talking loud & wind tickles in your back….

sincerity in the dark soothes the identity of the sensitive.

protective, naive, genuinely goofy …

sheltering arms that captivate this free soul in search of answers

It’s easier to be yourself in the darkness of the night,

the moon’s spell hypnotizes the rebel mind, out of it’s comfort zone

Truth is not easy.

Adapting is

Truth is not fun

Lies & escapism are.

Truth is not cheap

obeying & following rules may be

Truth is not feeling lonely

learning to be alone is the sanctuary where dreams are planted as seeds & time allows its proper ascension

erasing the habits of forgotten past, re-writing reality in the present and now.

stronger than planned, sweeter than honey, fierce ……

En un mundo idealizado en la memoria, te animas a Ser…tu mismo!